Know him
by psycho-girl101
Summary: Sirius and Remus are in a relationship unknown to Harry or anyone else. Harry finds out and a secret from his past causes a horrific reaction, leaving Sirius to find he didn't know harry as well as he thought. Slash!RLSB Angst Drama Romance All that jazz!
1. Tell Him

"Sirius, I-" Harry began, talking as he pushed open the kitchen door, expecting to see his Godfather on the other side. Instead he was meet by- nobody. But he had seen Sirius enter earlier and he was sure he hadn't come out since,

"Sirius?"

He asked the empty room, feeling foolish. He turned to leave again,

"Harry! I thought you and Ron had headed off to The Burrow already! What can I do for you kiddo?"

Sirius replied casually, climbing up the cellar steps. He'd been in the cellar, of course! Harry blushed slightly at his own idiocy,

"Ron wasn't quite ready yet." He paused; "Sirius, I was wondering if, maybe, you know the attic?" he spoke slowly, suddenly becoming very interested in the hole at the toe of his sock.

"Yes," Sirius asked, not seeing where this was going in the slightest, and hoping to any God that would listen that Harry did not notice the odd buttoning of his shirt or that he was utterly out of breath,

"Well, I was wondering if-maybe, only if it's ok with you, of course! But if, um, well - could Ron, Hermione and I use it as a study-den-sort-of-thing? No, sorry I shouldn't have said anything! Sugar, forget I said anything ok? Sorry, sorry, so-"

He gushed, backing out of the room as he spoke, but Sirius stepped forward and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, cutting him off,

"'Course you can. I'll help you clear it out once you're back from the Weasley's, if you like. It'll need painted and that, but it'll be no problem. Hey, we could even get you some of that Muggle furniture from that new store, what do you call it, Ikea or something? It'd make my dear old mum's day,"

Harry's worried, almost fearful, expression immediately brightened and Sirius, not for the first time, cursed the muggle scum, who had dragged him up,

"Really? Thanks!"

Harry exclaimed elatedly.

"Go on now, Ron's probably ready to go by now, and remember there is no need to thank me, now go!" Sirius grinned and ruffled Harry's hair fondly. Harry smiled and walked away. As he placed his hand on the doorknob he turned and spoke in a voice that could barely be heard,

"You're the best Sirius," He blushed again and left, leaving Sirius feeling not just a little guilty for so hurriedly ending the conversation.

"You can't say that wasn't too close," Remus commented evenly from behind Sirius, climbing up the same steps Sirius had moments before, with a somewhat more composed attitude. Sirius sighed,

"You're telling me!"

"You do realise that we are going to have to explain to him about us sooner rather than later," Remus spoke gently, picking one of his own hairs from Sirius' robe, "too many people have kept secrets from him in the past." He smoothed out the collar of Sirius shirt and leaned into him, stealing a quick kiss over Sirius' shoulder.

"Hmm," Sirius muttered distractedly, shrugging away the butterfly kisses Remus was placing up and down his tensed shoulder. Remus sighed and stopped, moving away and busying himself with making tea, "he will understand, won't he?" Sirius asked worriedly settling himself into a worn hearth chair. He asked the same question every time they had this conversation; this was the millionth time the subject had come up that week alone.

Remus took a few minutes to reflect on his prior answers to the question and find an original way to word what he had been saying the whole time. Hopefully, this time it would be in a way that would get through Sirius's abnormally thick skull.

"Sirius, Harry loves you. You are the only family he has ever had," Remus said gently, setting the kettle on a hob ring, resting his head upon an upturned palm at the kitchen table opposite Sirius,

"-He had the Dursleys," Sirius interjected miserably, tracing the wood grain markings on the tabletop,

"-Sirius, they kept him in a cupboard until he was twelve and pretended he didn't exist- the thing about relations is you have to 'relate', or at least accept the reality of the other person. No, you are the first adult who he has truly connected with. No matter how much he likes the Weasleys, or me you are the one he feels capable of trusting most. If you don't tell him soon, he'll find out some other way and it'll break his heart to know the person he trusts couldn't place the same amount of confidence in him." Remus stilled Sirius' desperately tracing hands with his own – pretending he didn't notice the shake.

Sirius looked up, finally meeting Remus' gaze – searching his gentle grey eyes for confirmation. He got it. Wearing a sort of half smile Sirius shook his head lightly,

"Of course, I'm just being daft right?"

Remus laughed, "Of course! But that's why I love you," he took complete pleasure in the way Sirius' eyes lit up as he said that.

"And to think, I thought it was all about the sex," Sirius grinned. Remus feigned shock,

"You know how to think?" He gasped and Sirius slapped him playfully on the arm. Remus couldn't help but retaliate and one thing led to another. Soon Sirius had Remus pressed against the tabletop holding Remus' arms above his head, their faces almost touching,

"You know," Remus said softly, basking in the delicious warmth of Sirius in such close proximity, "were it closer to full moon, I could have totally kicked your butt."

"Well, there is that…But, there are also the facts that a) I am too cute to hit and b) you fight like a girl." He seized the few seconds when Remus tried to think of a good comeback, Remus was just to damn irresistible…

Sirius bridged the tiny gap separating their bodies and pressed his lips gently against Remus', savouring the delicious taste he could only associate with warmth and summer time, and Remus, of course.

A small choking noise came from behind them and Sirius broke away from the kiss, whipping round to see Harry standing in the doorway a look of shock on his young face.

"You…" He began but it trailed away into nothingness.

"Harry, I've been meaning to tell you-" Sirius started toward Harry, his words outstretched along with his arm like a peace offering. Harry didn't want it and stepped out of Sirius' reach,

"You're gay." He said and Sirius was horrified to hear a clearly repulsed tone beneath his words.

"Harry-" He tried again but Harry shrank back even further,

"Don't touch me! Oh my God, Both of you? You're sick! There has got to be something wrong with you! You'll go to hell! You stupid…fags!" Harry spat the last word darted away down the hall. Sirius didn't follow him.

Harry was homophobic. His Harry. Sweet, gentle, caring Harry was a bigot. Sirius thought he might throw up himself.

"Oh Sirius," Remus said, the remorse clear in his voice, "I never thought he would-" he attempted to wrap his arms around Sirius' waist but Sirius' stepped away from him,

"Don't. Just…don't." Sirius' voice was barely more than a whisper. Without another word he turned and left through the back door. Remus didn't follow him. Slightly numb with the shock he sat down in Sirius' still warm seat and helplessly folded his arms down, resting his head upon them- guilt washing over him. If only he had controlled himself. Harry wouldn't have known and Sirius…poor, Sirius…

Harry meanwhile, was trying to stop the bile, which was rising in his throat. Sirius was gay. His Sirius, Strong, funny, brilliant Sirius was queer. Remus too. God, they had been fooling him the whole time. But why would they want to kiss other men, it was so…wrong.

Harry knew very well the terrible price they would pay in the next life for what they were doing – although the Dursleys had usually pretended Harry wasn't there, they did force him into one of Dudley's unpleasant, scratchy old suits every Sunday for Sunday school. He didn't want that for Sirius and Remus. He didn't want them to burn in eternal damnation forever more, did he?

How much he wished to turn back the clocks by just those few minutes, so Ron didn't have to rush home alone, leaving him, Harry, behind. But he couldn't he had to face the situation he was presented with. No matter which way he looked at it he loved them like the guardians he had never truly had, he didn't want that fate for them. He had only just been saved from it himself, or so the Dursleys had beaten into him. That he should be grateful for God's removal of Nathan from his life, that the Lord had been kind, merciful…

Thinking about Nathan made the gorge rise in the back of his oesophagus again and this time he couldn't stop it. He hurled himself from his seat upon the top stair and dashed along the landing – making it to the bathroom without a second to spare. He retched miserably into the toilet bowl, hot tears streaming down his cheeks as memories he had tried to forget for so long dashed back into his mind…

"_They don't like you either, huh?" A clumsy hand out of the blur the world had become pushed the distorted shape of his glasses back onto Harry's nose. Although the lenses were half-caked in mud, Harry could still make out the form of Nathan Semple. _

"_Thanks," Harry said as Nathan helped him up out of the mud into which Dudley and his gang had pushed him not moments before. Nathan was a thin, incredibly quiet boy in Harry's class at Stonewall primary school. Harry had just been transferred from his first primary school – things hadn't gone well there and the Dursleys had no option other than to let Harry attend the same primary as Dudley._

_Dudley had not taken it well. He had managed in approxiamately one week to turn the entire primary three year against Harry- some feat for a seven year old. Everyone hated Harry – they all thought he was weird, scary even, except Nathan it would appear._

_Harry knew Nathan was not well liked. He knew Nathan had been the subject of Dudley's bullying prior to Harry's arrival. He knew that Nathan was probably only being kind because Harry was now the one used as a live punching bag. He knew he should hate Nathan for getting away from Dudley's cruelty – leaving him to receive the torture. He knew he couldn't do that._

_After that incident and small act of kindness, Harry and Nathan became friends – good friends. They walked home as far as the street before Privet Drive together, they ate lunch together, Nathan hid up the tree in the Dursleys back garden when Harry had to do his gruelling chores, Nathan cleaned Harry up after Dudley messed him up, Harry comforted Nathan when his alcoholic mother had another one of her 'episodes'; they took care of each other. They understood each other perfectly, never pushing each other to talk about the problems in their lives yet both were always there when the other needed them. Due to their various issues, both boys grew up faster than they should have – both seeing things no child their age should see, dealing with stuff no kid should ever have to deal with._

_Although they were the same age Harry always looked up to Nathan like an older brother- family._

_At the age of nine, the Dursleys started to physically harm Harry – Nathan was furious when he found out. _

"_Honest – Nate, it isn't as bad as it looks!" Harry cried, attempting futilely to stop the other boys angry ranting,_

"_I'll kill him– I swear to God, I'll do it!" Nathan was practically hysterical as he paced the length of his bedroom; walking so hard he was going to wear down the floorboards, "Punching a nine year old? How the hell is that man's brain wired? He has a sodding screw lose! How long has this been going on for?" He span on his heel and crouched down in front of Harry, who was still considerably shorter than Nathan due to the lack of stability or maintenance of his diet – what little there was to it._

"_Not that long…" Harry trailed away, refusing to meet Nathan's steady gaze,_

"_Harry," Nathan's tone was gentler as he took Harry's chin in his hand and turned his head slightly so Harry was looking directly into his eyes, "how long?"_

_Harry took one look into Nathan's serious brown eyes and his face crumpled. His tears stung as they fell from his swollen shut left eye but he had given up on trying to hold them in, "Months." He whispered hoarsely and Nathan's jaw dropped slightly. He gathered Harry's smaller, malnourished body into his arms and hugged him tightly. Harry clung to him desperately, as though the other boy was the only thing keeping him anchored in this world, sobbing his heart out. _

_Nathan sat down on the bed beside Harry and pulled him in close to his side, Harry nestled into the crook of Nathan's neck, urgently seeking comfort from Nathan's reassuring warmth. _

"_One day," Nathan promised passionately, "one day, I will take you away from all this. I'll save you – I promise. Some day, we can get on a train and go some where no one knows us. Some day…some day, soon." He leaned his head gently on top of Harry's and listened to the other boy's heartbeat and breathing, the latter of __which slowed and evened out as he went to sleep. Soon Nathan followed him into peacefully dreams of freedom and brighter days…_

To Be Continued...


	2. Never Leave Him

Six days passed and no one saw hide or hair of Harry. He didn't come to meals, he didn't attend Order meetings even though he was now allowed to, and he didn't sleep in his room. They only way Remus and Sirius knew he was there still was the quiet sound of muffled crying, which disturbed them beyond words.

Sirius and Remus told no one about what had happened – sticking to the story that Harry was having a difficult time at the moment and wished to be left alone. The story satisfied everyone else and they didn't feel so guilty as it was only a not fully divulged truth rather than a lie; Harry was going through a difficult time and he did want to be left alone- they just omitted the delicate fact it was because he had caught Remus and Sirius doing something they probably –in Harry's book at least- shouldn't have been.

Yes, this stated everyone else's concern but Sirius and Remus were going out of their minds with the worry. Mind you, if the worry didn't drive them to insanity the guilt would do it.

This unpleasant sensation was only added to by the fact they knew he had stopped eating – no food had gone missing from the kitchens in the time Harry had failed to attend any meals. And they still couldn't find him. They had been searching desperately but he had managed to evade them for a whole week nearly, no doubt with the help of a certain cloak.

"It's hopeless!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands up exasperatedly, "We'll never find him! What if something awful has happened to him? What if he's fallen somewhere and knocked himself out or something? What if he has fallen out a window? What if he jumped? Oh Christ, what if-"

"Calm down Padfoot," Remus said lightly, although he felt far from 'calm' himself, "he'll be okay, we just need to talk to him and he'll be fine. Now, no more of this 'what if-ing'; you're going to make yourself ill." He sat down on the moth-eaten sofa next to Sirius who had slumped forward, burying his face in his hands.

"I just wish I'd had time to explain to him properly, you know? I want to know why he reacted the way he did…I want to say sorry. I need to understand." He whispered.

"Sirius, all I ask is that you remember what you're sorry for. You aren't sorry about who you are. You are not sorry that you're gay. All you have to be regretful of is the fact you hid this from Harry, Okay?" Remus reminded him softly but firmly as he rubbed Sirius' back in small, reassuring circles.

"What would I do without you?" Sirius laughed quietly,

"Oh, I'd reckon you would live. True, your life would be nothing without fantastic, glamorous, amazing little me," Remus rolled his eyes dramatically, "But I think you'd survive."

"But you are all those things, to me at any rate," Sirius said; honesty had never been so present in his voice – except for when he told Remus he loved him. Remus blushed slightly and Sirius pulled him into a hug, holding him close, their hearts beating next to one another in perfectly syncopated rhythm.

"Why?" a tiny voice asked. A flash of slivery fabric dropped to the floor and the figure of a thin, shaking Harry was revealed in the doorway. He looked utterly wretched and as though he had washed or slept in ages. But then again - he hadn't. Grimy tear tracks were left on both cheeks and he had an unpleasant bruised look about his eyes, which were also red and irritated from obvious crying. He was in a very bad way.

Sirius head jerked up so fast Remus thought he may suffer whiplash. Both men were also on their feet in seconds,

"Harry! Thank Goodness!" Sirius exclaimed, rushing toward Harry. Harry stepped back out the door into the hallway,

"Don't." He whispered.

"Harry, we were so worried! You've gotten so thin, where have you been all this time? Have you slept at all? You look ready to collapse." Sirius spoke frantically; thanking any God listening that Harry was here.

As if on cue, Harry wavered on his feet as though about to collapse. Sirius leapt forward to catch him, taking hold of Harry's arms. All he could feel was bone. Harry slapped at his hands,

"Get away from me!" He practically screamed, causing a violent cough to start somewhere deep in his chest and rise horribly, uncontrollably in his throat.

Sirius snatched his hands away as though burned and Harry staggered again, clutching the banister for support. All Sirius and Remus could do was watch in horror as Harry suffered. Eventually it subsided and Harry straightened up again, pain, not necessarily from the coughing fit, was the only emotion visible in his eyes. Harry closed his eyes and took a ragged, deeper breath. When he opened them seconds later, the visible agony was gone – replaced by a stony barrier of nothing. It was so un-Harry like. Sirius was terrified.

"Why?" Harry said again, desperation clear in his voice.

"Harry, what we have is not wrong. I _love _Remus," Harry shuddered as Sirius said it, " there is nothing sick or twisted about it. We've been together since I returned from Azkaban and we were a couple from seventh year until my arrest. We understand each other. We care about each other. There is nothing wrong about that." Sirius bravely took Remus hand and entwined his fingers with the other man's.

Harry's eyes flickered from Sirius' face to Remus' to their joint hands and back again. His face crumpled and so did his legs. He sank miserably to the floor, tears following the tracks many others had already laid for them.

"But you'll go to hell. I don't want you to, I love you both." His breathing was very heavy as he tried to stay in control, "They'll take you away if they find out," He was hysterical, his voice high and shaky, his breath coming in short gasps, "Just like they did to Nathan. They'll get you too." Vicious coughs racked his body and Sirius dropped to his knees next to Harry's shuddering form.

"Harry don't worry, you're not very well is all," Sirius couldn't stop the panic leaking into his voice, "No one is going to take us away, alright? I'm right here. I will not leave you." He looked at Remus frantically and Remus instantly agreed with what Sirius was saying.

"But Nathan…he promised too…they took him anyway…" Harry muttered before slipping into the comfortable darkness calling him.

"Nathan? Who's Nathan? Harry? Harry talk to me!" Sirius cried cradling Harry's limp, unconscious body in his arms, desperately rocking him. Tears dripped down his face, falling onto Harry – he didn't react to them. Remus softly rested a hand upon Sirius' arm and the other man looked up his face a mask of desperation.

"Sirius let me take a look at him, okay?" Remus said quietly and Sirius nodded, shifting to give him room. Remus knelt down and checked Harry's vitals, his pulse was weaker than normally expected but it was his breathing that was cause for concern. Remus had basic medical knowledge; it had been something he'd been interested in as a younger man, and could tell Harry had contracted a rather serious respiratory infection. He was also more underweight than usual, a.k.a. critically so. Feeling his forehead, Remus found him to be highly feverish. All in all: Harry was an utter mess.

"Sirius, this is…not good. You go and put him in bed and I'll get Molly, she'll know better than me what to do." Remus couldn't stop himself speaking quickly, panicking. Harry was really ill. He leapt to his feet not prepared to waste a second in making him better,

"Sirius!" He snapped at Sirius who was still frozen staring at Harry. Sirius jerked slightly and finally seemed to digest what Remus had said. He lifted Harry easily and carried him upstairs without a word, tears still streaking down his cheeks all the while.

Remus bolted to the kitchen, snatching a handful of floo powder from the pot upon the mantle, stepping into the flames the second they turned acid green, yelling the burrow as he stepped forward.

"Molly!" He yelled, striding from the Weasley's fireplace seconds later, hurrying to the kitchen where he could hear activity,

"Molly!" Flinging open the door he burst in upon the Weasley family eating their evening meal.

"Remus, where's the fire?" Arthur Weasley asked jokingly.

"Molly, it's Harry." Remus said, panic raising his voice.

Molly Weasley took in Remus' terrified expression, trembling hands and frantic tone, before dropping the soup ladle and whipping off her apron.

At Remus' words Ron sprang to his feet but his father grabbed his arm. Loud protests from Ron ensued, mixing unpleasantly in the air with Ginny's desperate questions and their father's attempts at calming the pair of them while their mother left the kitchen with Remus.

Meanwhile, Sirius was gently tucking the blanket around Harry's chin; the child had now begun to shiver uncontrollably. Because, Sirius was beginning to realise as he spent more and more time with the boy, that that was all Harry really was. He was just a child - A lost boy, in desperate need of some small sign of affection. And he was also realising that few people saw Harry for what he was, they all saw the hero, the scar - or the bane of their existence, in a few cases. None of them saw what they really had, a troubled, thoughtful, brave yet confused child - Nothing more, nothing less.

And this was yet more proof that Harry was a victim of circumstance and situation, who was this Nathan person? What did he have to do with Sirius and Remus being together? Was he Harry's…? No, Sirius shook the thought from his mind; Harry had a crush on Cho Chang. So why was he cropping up now?

Harry shuddered violently, jolting Sirius from his thoughts. He scooped the boy's torso up so he was laid across Sirius' lap. The spasms grew in strength and Sirius clutched Harry to him desperately. Harry couldn't even recognise that Sirius was there. He didn't make a sound as his body tremored horribly. Suddenly, it stopped and Harry went limp again. Sirius shook him, anything to get some response, how did you check a pulse? Sirius had no clue. Oh God, he thought, Harry is dead, he's gone.

Seconds later Remus burst into the room with Molly Weasley hot on his heels, to find Sirius with Harry half in his lap, half laid out upon the bed, tears streaming down the older man's face as Harry lay there motionless.

Remus pulled Sirius away with a lot of difficulty while Molly took his place at the beside, checking Harry's basic vitals. She proceeded to conjured a scarlet potion and Sirius sobbed helplessly into Remus' shoulder convinced Harry was dead.

"You two," She called without looking over her shoulder, "this is not going to be pleasant, poor dear has a serious chest infection among other things, it can happen when deprived of sleep – cells in the throat stop regeneration. Now I'll need you to hold him down Sirius, Okay? It will take a few minutes for the pain to pass. Just be there for him, let him know you're here. Remus, would you go and get some damp towels for his temperature, we need to keep it down," Remus nodded hurriedly then after giving Sirius a comforting kiss on the cheek then left the room.

"Dear? Harry will be fine, but he needs you to help him now," Molly said kindly to Sirius turning to notice his tears and beckoning him forward. Sirius dipped his head weakly in a would-be nod stepped up to bed. He carefully tilted Harry head up and opened the fragile boy's mouth. Molly poured the blood red liquid into his mouths.

Nothing happened for several seconds and Sirius was utterly conviced it wasn't working until suddenly Harry spluttered and gasped, his face twisting into a sudden mask of pure agony.

"Sirius!" The boy cried and Sirius heart leapt. No matter what Harry had said, he wanted Sirius there with him, to protect him.

"Harry, don't be afraid, I'm hear. The pain will all go away soon, Molly is making you better," Sirius whispered, holding his shoulders as softly as possible.

"It hurts," Harry whimpered miserably, tears trickling down his face, "Make it stop."

"It's alright, it will stop in a second." Sirius whispered in response but the boy's body began to twist and contort in horribly unnatural ways. Harry's painfilled screams filled the house and Remus rushed back carrying damp, white towels which he promptly applied to Harrys forehead and chest.

Eventually after several, agonizingly long minutes the pain did fade and Harry's whole being seemed to sag as did Sirius' although the latter was simply out of pure relief.

"Oh, Harry," Sirius sighed quietly, pushing back the boy's messy fringe from his perspiring forehead. Harry groaned softly and curled up on his side, pain outlined in every heart-wrenching contortion of his face. Sirius took hold of Harry's hand, as gently as possible and stroked his thumb calmingly across the ridges of Harry's knuckles.

"Sirius…you didn't leave…" Harry whispered, barely regaining consciousness long enough to recognise his Godfather's face before he slipped away again. Sirius released a breath he'd been secretly holding for goodness knew how long as Harry, ever so slightly, tightened his fingers around Sirius'.

Remus gently pulled Sirius back as Molly began to deal with Harry,

"He'll be okay, Molly will sort him out." Remus whispered in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. Sirius however, was already calm, regardless of the tears flowing from his eyes,  
"He knows I didn't leave him. I won't leave him, not ever." He said, slumping into Remus' side. Remus held onto him firmly round the waist,

"Of course he knows, you love him and he loves you. We'll sort this whole situation out when Harry's better, I promise. It'll all be okay from now on." Remus reiterated but it wasn't necessary.

"I know." Sirius said simply hugging him back.


	3. Save Him

Harry fell into a deep, not quite peaceful sleep. He did seem to be healing and totally relaxed and no one would have judged it any different except for the fact that Sirius saw tears trickling down his Godson's face upon more than one occasion. Harry was completely out of it for a whole three days and during that time Sirius never left his bedside. Remus, Molly, Ron and Hermione, and several others visited frequently and took turns sitting with the unconscious boy but Sirius was never gone longer than the time it took to go to the bathroom – he didn't plan to leave Harry alone again when he needed him. He knew Harry had been alone for long enough, locked in his own world, trapped by a prophecy still unknown to him and some secrets he had yet to share with anybody. Sirius planned to be there waiting when Harry was willing to share some of this emotional burden.

Harry, while he was asleep was dragged back to the memories that he had buried deep within his heart, which were finally being thrown to the surface, their colours harsh in the light his mind had refused them for so long.

"_Harry, I've found a way," Nathan's deep brown eyes were sparkling in a way Harry had never seen before._

"_A way to do what?" Harry asked thickly, he hadn't had anything to eat for two days now and he was yet to receive his glass of lukewarm tap water for the day, so the blazing sun beating down on him at it's peek wasn't exactly helping his brain to function._

"_A way to get out of here, you dope," Nathan replied not unkindly, "My uncle paid us a visit and gave me ten whole pounds!" Nathan grinned at the memory of the crisp note tucked safely beneath the contents of his sock drawer. "I'm sure that'll be enough to get us started somewhere far away from here. Hey, maybe someone will give you a job as a gardener; you're so good at it already! Yeah, then you would get paid for all this stuff you have to do for free!"_

"_Really?" Harry asked setting down the trowel that was too big for his small, nine year old hands. Harry still remembered the day a few months ago when Nathan had promised to save him from the Dursleys. They hadn't said anymore on the subject since and Harry had assumed it forgotten. But now this… His empty stomach jolted with excitement. He would be free. "Nate, that's brilliant! When will we go?" Harry jumped to his feet, for a moment not caring if Uncle Vernon caught him neglecting his chores._

"_Soon," Nathan said, glee was clear in each syllable he spoke, "Really soon…on Wednesday. Yes, we'll get a real early train on Wednesday, okay?"_

"_Okay," Harry nodded his head, his whole body bobbing up and down too. Nathan laughed at Harry's clear joy; it was nearly impossible to keep his best friend's spirits up nowadays, especially as the Dursleys were getting harsher and crueller all the time. Harry soon began to laugh as well. It felt good to laugh, he hadn't done it in ages…their happiness was short lived._

"_Boy, what the hell are you doing?" A voice bellowed from the kitchen. It chilled Harry to the bone and made Nathan's blood boil in his veins. How he would like nothing more than to grow a couple of feet taller then give that man a good kicking…Harry stood frozen to the spot, fear replacing the delight in his eyes instantly._

"_Well? Answer me you idiot!" Vernon thundered, slamming open the back door and pounding down the neat path to tower over Harry. Nathan curled in closer to the trunk of the tree as though it could offer him some sort of comfort. It didn't._

_Harry's lip trembled slightly but he didn't give a reply. _Come on,_ Nathan urged, _Say something._ But Harry didn't. The fat, purple vein in Vernon's left temple pulsed and twitched as his face began to match its unpleasant colour. Vernon almost growled and grabbed Harry's chin, jerking it up at a painful angle. Harry gasped at the lingering twinge it sent through his jawbone and Vernon grinned maliciously, twisting one beefy fist into Harry's shirtfront and pulling up so his face was millimetres away from his Uncle's,_

"_I'm waiting," Vernon snarled, saliva flecking Harry's paling face._

_Still Harry said nothing and Vernon scowled hideously, "You little freak! Think I'm stupid, do you? Think I'm willing to take this bull from you? Think again!" He ranted furiously, accentuating each word with a cruel shake. Harry, whose feet were off the ground, shook like a ragdoll; his head snapping back and forth in what must have been a painful manner._

_Nathan was practically going apoplectic himself by the time Vernon picked Harry up by his shirtfront. How dare that monster treat Harry like that? If he didn't set him down in a minute, height would no longer stop him beating seven shades of hell out of that stupid, fat…then the ogre began to shake Harry. Nathan couldn't help it. He cried out in anger and shock before he realised what he was doing, then clamped a horrified hand across his mouth._

_Vernon suddenly paused in his horrendous actions and looked around, wild-eyed and practically foaming at the mouth. Nathan held his breath as Vernon looked directly at the tree Nathan was crouched in, staring madly up into the branches._

_Torturously long seconds passed until Vernon finally dropped his gaze. Before he had a chance to get back to Harry, he noticed a pair of yellowing net curtains twitch slightly in the house behind the tree. He instantly dropped Harry who, not expecting the sudden release, crumpled on the ground with an unhealthy snapping sound. _

_Harry gasped sharply as his ankle twisted and broke beneath him. A wave of nausea passed through him and he had a few seconds to glance up into the branches which concealed his only friend, a look of clear desperation on his face, before he was jerked up off the ground by his now smiling Uncle's meaty paw._

_Vernon's grin was disgustingly false and it frightened Harry more than his Uncle's anger. It was a display only sort of smile, clearly for the benefit of which ever nosy neighbour had chosen now to take a peek at what was going on in the other back garden's of Privet Drive. The madman proceeded to half march; half drag Harry into the house. Harry couldn't resist the tears of agony caused by his obviously broken ankle that welled in his eyes. Vernon threw Harry inside and neatly closed the door behind him, dropping the slatted blind on the door's window. In that moment, Harry was sure he wouldn't leave the kitchen alive._

"_Sit." Vernon commanded and Harry pulled himself up onto one of the chairs carefully tucked into the table – he was so thin there was no need to pull it out. Harry trembled as he sat in silence, desperate to do as his Uncle ordered, terrified that if he didn't he would be punished. He was on the verge of passing out as his Uncle drew the curtains on the window behind the sink and turned to face him, the smile long gone and replaced with a twisted look that made Harry visibly quake._

"_So think you can make an idiot of me in front of our neighbours, do you? Find yourself funny? Well let's see who's laughing now!" Vernon bellowed, picking up a plate from the draining board behind him and hurling it directly at Harry's head. The tiny boy tried to duck out of the way but his reflexes weren't good and it smashed upon his shoulder. The scream Harry made would have brought tears to the eyes of any adult with a heart – it was the cry of a child in pure agony._

"_Uncle pleases! I'm sorry!" Harry cried urgently, holding his arms above his head for protection. Ignorant to Harry's voice, Vernon dragged him out of the chair, the tight grip he had on the boy's delicate upper arm causing dark violet bruises to blossom almost instantaneously._

"_Petunia and I, we took you in when those good for nothing parents of yours got themselves killed! We gave you a place to stay, out of the goodness of our hearts and all you do is lay about, you insolent freak!" Vernon was pushing him backwards as he spoke, Harry had tears running freely down his face from the pain as he was forced to walk on his ankle, his shoulder throbbed and the terrible knowledge that this was just the beginning. He was babbling, nonsensical from the aching, begging his uncle to stop when he felt the knobs on the cooker pressing into his spine. The cooker?_

_Suddenly his uncle was gripping him by the hair, coming as close as was possible to ripping it all from his skull. Harry couldn't help screaming as he realised far too late what was coming. He pressed his hands down on the sides of the oven, desperately trying to prevent what was now inevitable. Then he felt suddenly disjointed from the situation and the stomach churning smell of burnt flesh was the first sign that told him he'd failed. The second was a high-pitched terrible noise, which had filled the room. Harry realised it was coming from his own mouth. _

_After that Harry's mind grew hazy, he barely noticed when his head was pulled away from the hob and he was flung to the floor. His forehead bounced unpleasantly of the radiator, his eyeballs jerking in their sockets. He didn't feel as though it was happening to him, it was as though he was an outsider looking in at the warped scene. He didn't feel the kicks and punches his Uncle delivered although he was aware that the awful screaming noise hadn't stopped. His Uncle's huge figure grew dull and blurred, the words he was still throwing at Harry getting quieter, drawing away as the world darkened. _

_Nathan leapt from his branch the second the door shut and the blind had been pulled, not caring as to whether he was found. He darted up the path and pressed himself against the door in an attempt to hear what was happening. Even Vernon's bellowing didn't make it through the plastic without severe distortion and Nathan couldn't make out his words. The only thing that came clear through was Harry's heart stopping scream. It brought tears to Nathan's eyes and he clawed desperately at the door; trying to get through for Harry. It seemed to last forever when suddenly the scream stopped. There was silence. It made Nathan cry even harder than the screaming had. He slumped miserably against the frame and cried into his hands, vowing to himself that he would save his best friend, his brother, from this evil – not on Wednesday- now._

_In a world that was nearly black Harry saw only one pinprick of light. Gradually it began to grow and he saw two people standing in the warm glow. He was back to himself now, yet he still couldn't feel the pain of the wounds his Uncle had inflicted. Harry assumed he was dead and he wasn't that sad to be gone. Although, he did feel he was forgetting something, someone… But he couldn't remember and anyway, Harry reminded himself, if you're dead it won't matter now. He was standing in the light now and he saw that these two people were not strangers, yet he had never really known them. They were his parents._

_He had never seen pictures of them, yet he knew they could be none other than his mum and dad. The man had the same messy black hair, the same face shape. The women had the same emerald green eyes and a smile much like his. _

"_Mummy?" Harry asked softly, stepping nearer to them almost shy of them._

"_My baby," she whispered and Harry liked the way she said it. No one had called him baby like that, not for as long as he could remember. Yet, it felt beautifully familiar to him._

_Harry smiled in the same manner as his mummy and looked back into the warm eyes that matched his own. She crouched down to Harry's level carefully and opened her arms. Harry didn't need anymore of an invitation. The tiny child dove into the arms of his mother, the women he had dreamed of being in the arms of for so long. He had never dreamed of someone so perfect. He closed his eyes and buried his tiny face into the shoulder of her jumper, her flame red hair tickling his nose. He breathed in her scent; it was lovely, like a fresh spring day. Spring had always been Harry's favourite time of year. He never wanted to let her go. He opened his eyes and peeked up at his father who was beaming down at the pair._

"_Harry, look how big you've grown!" His father exclaimed, "Soon you'll be as tall as me and then you'll be able to play Quidditch and everything!" _

_Harry was slightly confused by the sentence but as his mother gentle released him he forgot and quickly threw himself into the now outstretched arms of his dad. _

"_Daddy," Harry said as if confirming it to himself while the man who looked like a grown up version of him, drew Harry up to his chest and spun round carefully, holding his child close to his heart. Harry, listen to the steady rhythm of his daddy's heartbeat and knew this was true happiness. Being with the ones who truly loved you, unconditionally, not caring about anything that had passed or was yet to come. This was happiness._

_And yet Harry knew the moment couldn't last. His father set Harry back on his feet and Harry marvelled that his ankle didn't hurt anymore. He looked up overjoyed into the faces of his parents and was horrified to see they were sad now. His mummy had a tear running down her cheek and his daddy had pulled her into his side for comfort._

"_Why are you crying mummy, I've come to stay with you forever now," Harry explained and his mummy laughed slightly._

"_Harry, darling you can't stay here yet, one day but not yet. We both love you so much. Remember that. We love you." His mother said, giving him a loving kiss on the cheek._

_That was when Harry heard the voice in the distance. It was calling him. He turned around to see where it was coming from and suddenly noticed it was getting dark again. He turned back to his parents and suddenly they were farther away from him. He was being pulled back into the darkness._

"_Mummy! Daddy! Don't send me back - I love you! Please!" Harry cried as the light and his parents drew further and further away. His father raised one arm and waved as he began to disappear from Harry's vision, along with his mummy and the light. _

_Soon he was surrounded by totally blackness, crying out for his parents who were long gone. His ankle hurt again, as did the side of his face and the majority of his body. He could here the voice in getting closer, but there was no warm light. He knew the voice…it was someone he had forgotten about…_

_Harry jerked up right gasping for breath. His head hit the low ceiling of his cupboard under the stairs and he yelled out with the shock more than anything. A small hand clasped over his open mouth, silencing him. Harry's eyelids snapped open and he found himself nose to nose with the same blurry figure that had helped him what felt like forever ago. Nathan? Memories of the last time he'd seen the other boy flooded his mind and he sagged with the weight of them. Nathan hugged Harry's broken form and breathed in the familiar smell of Harry. There was something new too, a fresh smell, like new flowers or something equally pleasant. Nathan relished it all the same,_

"_I thought you were dead!" He exclaimed, although he was careful to keep it as a whisper, "You weren't moving and I couldn't feel you breathing. I've come to rescue you." He explained proudly. "How do you feel?"_

"_I feel very sore." Harry said carefully although sore was a total understatement. His whole left side felt like it was on fire, particularly that side of his face. Then he remembered it was where the oven had been pressed against him and decided it was best not to mention it – Nathan would only get upset._

"_Can you walk?" Nathan asked. _

"_Sure," Harry said. He knew his ankle was horribly swollen without needing to look at it but if it meant getting away from this then he would walk on it, "But Nate, you're all fuzzy." Harry giggled slightly as he said it, it sounded absurd._

"_I what?" Nathan said._

"_I can't see you properly, I need my glasses." Harry said dumbly, reaching for the bedside dresser._

"_You're wearing them." Nathan was too shocked to say anything more._

"_Oh, well- um, that's not very good then." Harry said feeling for the thick plastic frame on his face. It was still there. Harry loathed his glasses, his aunt had bought them second hand from a charity shop rather than taking him to an optician and they were horrid. They were huge, square and barely helped and the plastic was a putrid shade of green, which clashed horribly with his eyes. But if he didn't wear them he was virtually blind. Which he was now anyway, so he took them off and left them on what he hoped was the dresser._

"_Let's go then," He said in what he hoped was a bright voice but Nathan looked doubtful. All the same he helped Harry out of the cupboard and they crept down the hall, in Harry's case with a lot of difficulty. Nathan pulled the front door open without a sound and the two boys snuck out into the night. As they turned the corner of Privet Drive onto Primrose Street, Nathan breathed a huge sigh of relief and Harry wished so desperately he could do the same. Yet he still couldn't shake a feeling that this was not going to end well._

It was either excruciatingly late on the third day of his comatose state or appallingly early on the fourth day when Harry finally returned to the land of the conscious. Sirius sat slumped in his usual chair next to the bed, half-dosing half-reading a book he held in the hand that wasn't holding Harry's. Suddenly Harry's fingers curled and squeezed Sirius' own ever so slightly. Immediately thrown from his doze, Sirius bolted upright in his chair (book utterly forgotten – he'd been reading the same line for an hour and a half _anyway_) and stared in wonder at Harry, who for the first time in what felt like a long time looked back at him.

Sirius could safely say he'd never been more relieved to see those emerald green eyes as he was at that moment. He smiled for the first time in days and was horrified when his Godson's eyes filled with tears.

"Sirius," He croaked quietly, "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have sa-"

"They are forgiven and forgotten," Sirius replied, brushing away Harry's tears, "come on now, let's not cry over words. They are so small, so insignificant."

"You're starting to sound like Dumbledore," Harry said, coughing to clear his throat. Sirius passed him a glass of water, which Harry received gratefully.

"Well, that's no bad thing is it?" Sirius retorted, taking the empty glass back and placing it on the bedside table, "Now, million pound question – How are you feeling?"

"Erm, okay?" Harry tried but Sirius gave him the look that was something of a cross between Mme Pomfrey and Mrs Weasleys'. It was something to witness, "Okay, my head hurts and my throat feels a bit funny but, that's all, I swear!"

"Well, Mrs Weasley wants me to give you this," He put on a high imitation of Mrs Weasley, "'As soon as he wakes up Sirius Black, or mark my words!'" Harry laughed softly but it hurt his chest a bit so he stopped and so did Sirius, "It'll probably send you to sleep again so you just take it when you're ready." Sirius explained pouring out the instructed amount and setting the cup on the dresser. He rearranged the little items Harry kept on the cabinet as Harry stared up at the ceiling. He put them back the way they were.

Sirius stopped himself touching them again, he was just stalling for time. Trying to stop the inevitable moment when he would have to ask the question he really didn't want to ask. It made him think of Lily. She always used to wangle her favourite cliché into any conversation. Now, more than ever, it fitted. 'No time like the present'. Yet she wasn't here to say it. But still he would do it because even though she wasn't physically present he knew she was still right.

"Harry," Sirius began after a deep breath. Harry rolled clumsily onto his side and looked at his Godfather warily, he knew what was coming. Or so he thought… "Who is Nathan?" Sirius finally meet Harry's eyes. Harry was nearly knocked for six with the shock. How did Sirius know about Nathan?

"Who?" Harry asked, flabbergasted.

"You were talking about him before you passed out, when you got ill," Sirius explained hurriedly – he didn't want to distress Harry, "You said they took him away. Who took him away? Who was he? What has he got to do with us?" Sirius finished in a rush.

"Nathan was my…friend a long time ago. Not anymore though," Harry said gazing at the ceiling to avoid any eye contact, "I think I'll take my potion now." He said and reached for the glass. Sirius didn't stop him, Harry obviously didn't want to talk about it and Sirius wouldn't push him now. Now was the time to be there for him, later would be the time to get proper answers. At least it was out there now.

"Get better, Harry, we can talk when you're better." Sirius said softly, taking the cup from Harry's slackening grip.

"Hmmm," Harry mumbled in response snuggling down into his pillow, suddenly noticing how warm it was and how heavy his eyelids felt. Sirius ruffled his hair gently and tucked the blanket back over Harry's arms,

"No matter what anyone has told you in the past, you are a truly wonderful person and I love you. Sleep well." Sirius whispered but Harry was already asleep. He quietly snuck out of the room and went to tell the good news to the rest, leaving Harry with only his memories and dreams for company.


	4. Hurt Him

"_Come on, not much further now," Nathan encouraged, gently tugging Harry's elbow in the opposite direction to the one Harry had been attempting to take._

_Harry was on the verge of tears. He was tired, sore, cold and hungry (though the last was nothing new). His ankle hurt worse than ever, forcing him to bit his tongue at every step to keep from crying. He could barely see and the lack of focus for his eyes was causing him a horrid headache. Nathan constantly had to stop him going the wrong way, making him feel entirely stupid and useless._

_He stepped forward heavier than intended, misjudging the kerb, and landing clumsily in the gutter. It was the last straw for Harry and he didn't try to get up. He began to cry and laid his head on his knees helplessly,_

"_It's no use," He cried. "We'll never get there. I can't even see!"_

_He felt Nathan sit down beside him. The heat from the other boy was comforting to him. Nathan put an arm round Harry's delicate shoulders, feeling the risen bruises through the thin fabric of Harry's shirt. Nathan wasn't sure what to say. Then he saw something in the gutter and it gave him hope,_

"_Harry, try these!" He exclaimed, pushing the object into Harry's hands. Harry sniffed and took the glasses, unfolded the legs, and pushed the frame onto his nose. _

_The world became clearer than it had ever been before. He stopped crying immediately and looked around in wonder at Nathan,_

"_They're perfect!" He said in surprise._

_The glasses were very different to his previous pair. They were smaller and weighed much less. The frames were made of a delicate black wire. Harry knew glasses were made especially for people and these ones felt as though they had been made just for him. _

"_See, it's a sign. Everything will work out soon," Nathan said happily, standing up and extending a hand to Harry. Harry allowed Nathan to pull him to his feet. Taking it one very slow, but now sure, step at a time they started off again. Harry leaned on Nathan now, not in an act of weakness or helplessness, but one of trust and belief in his best friend, his brother._

_Unbeknown to the two little boys, in the days to come, all traces of Nathan were to be swept from Harry's life. All but the glasses. Harry held onto them as the one reminder of the first person he would truly remember who ever cared about him; who ever loved him. _

Sirius tumbled out into Remus' tiny living room, his whole body flooded with adrenaline. He sprang to his feet and dashed into the hall, yelling for Remus with all his might.

Remus, who, at that moment, was drinking tea in the kitchen, dropped his cup with surprise at the sounds of an unexpected visitor. His heart leapt to his throat as he heard Sirius urgent cries. Fearing the worst he jumped to his feet and pulled open the door. He was almost bowled off his feet as Sirius barrelled into him.

Sirius hugged Remus for the longest time, burying his head into Remus warm shoulder and Remus hugged him back, relief flooding his system for more than one reason.

"Oh, Remus! It's OK! Harry woke up and he doesn't hate me!" Sirius gushed. He paused and took a steadying breath before releasing his vice-like grip on Remus and looking deep into Remus' eyes he asked the other question, which had been worrying him the past few days, "He's alright, are we?"

Remus frowned slightly and drew away from Sirius' loosely encircling arms. Were they? It was the question he had been asking himself for some time. Ever since Harry had returned to them Sirius just hadn't been the same. He had seemed distant or rather as though he'd like to be as far from Remus as possible. It had been like it was Remus' fault Harry had reacted the way he had. Remus knew he was being stupid but he couldn't help feeling utterly rejected and resented. Sure, Sirius hadn't _said_ anything, but Sirius wasn't that sort of person. It had been killing Remus inside for days now, not knowing whether or not Sirius wanted him anymore. When he thought about it…He felt like he couldn't breathe anymore because that's how it was. Sirius was his oxygen.

He looked away from Sirius' stare; it felt like Sirius was reading his mind. He ran a hand through his sandy, greying hair and tried to search for the right words to describe what he was feeling. They refused to come,

"Sirius…I…I don't know." He shook his head sadly.

Sirius heart dropped like a stone,

"Remus…what do you mean? How can you not know?" He asked desperately, willing Remus to make some sort of contact.

"I…I think you should go." He couldn't live like this. If Sirius could throw him aside so easily what was to say he wouldn't just throw him away entirely at the drop of a hat?

"Remus, please! Don't say that. Whatever's the matter, we can work it out. I promise," Sirius begged hopelessly, reaching out to Remus who recoiled from his touch.

"Don't make promises you know you can't keep," Remus said, fighting to keep his voice level.

"Remus, I love you! You are my world, I need you," Sirius said breathlessly. He wished with all his heart he could take Remus back in his arms and show him what he meant to him – words were so difficult to get right.

"Am I?" Remus looked directly into Sirius' gaze at last, "Do you?"

"Yes! You are! Of course I need you, I _love_ you," He said again, touching Remus' arm.

"Just…go." Remus whispered, turning away from Sirius completely. He felt as though he were going to be sick. Part of him, a large part of him, wanted Sirius to try again – to feel he was important enough to make understand. Another part was telling him this was best. Sirius didn't reach out to him. When Remus looked around Sirius was gone.

A strange feeling over took him. On autopilot he made an unnecessary fresh cup of tea and walked, unfeeling, to the living room. He set the cup on a spindly wooden coffee table and sat down. He got back up and picked it up again. He sat down with the cup still in his hands, trying and failing to take comfort from its heat. He looked at the picture on the mantle of him and Sirius. Orange and red leaves were falling behind the two figures and their noses were pink from the wind, but still they were smiling as though they'd never stop. They danced and twirled, messing around, utterly oblivious to what had just happened. The photographic Remus lent in and gave Sirius a kiss on his cheek; Sirius blushed happily and pulled Remus into his arms.

Remus looked at the cup. He was gripping onto it as though it were all that was left to anchor him in this world. It was the green one, with the orange zigzag. Sirius had given it to him for their one-year anniversary. He didn't need to look to know that the bottom, in very messy black marker pen, read '_Property of the Property of Sirius Black'. _He released the warm china, allowing the cup to fall on the floor. A dark stain spread across the blue carpet. He looked away from the fallen mug and saw the soot marks from where Sirius had tumbled on his way out of the fireplace. Flooing had never been either of their specialities. Remus held his head in his hands and wept.

Sirius stumbled back into the dank kitchen of Number 12, dazed and unfeeling. It was like Remus had reached into his chest and torn out his heart. Like, there was a massive gaping hole replacing it beneath his ribcage. Remus hated him. And worse still, Sirius knew he was to blame. He'd been so caught up in what had happened this past week and a half; he had been ignoring Remus almost completely. Obviously Remus was going to come to the conclusion he was unwanted, same, as any other human being would do.

"You're an idiot." Sirius whispered to himself, then he realised the first sign of madness was talking to yourself and shut up. Was he not good enough to have the two best things in his life at the same time? No sooner had Harry been returned to him, Remus was taken away. It just wasn't…_fair_. '_Life isn't fair_,' a small, mocking voice in his head replied (it sounded horribly like Peter _'traitor'_ Pettigrew). He told it to shut up rather loudly, and then remembered that the second sign of madness was answering yourself and quickly shut up again.

Emotions rushed his system, overloading his mind. It was just too much for him. Breathing heavily he took the first thing he saw and threw it with as much force as possible, at the opposite wall. It smashed with a satisfying amount of noise. He turned over the table in the middle of the room, sending crockery flying. He didn't care that he was making a mess, or that he was making enough noise to wake the dead. All he knew was that maybe if he could focus all his energy on doing this, he could forget his pain for just a second. He chucked the fruit bowl at the door and what he uncovered beneath it stopped him in his tracks. It was a photo, one he was sure he'd lost a very long time ago. Him and Remus dancing and fooling about outdoors in autumn- the perfect day. He picked it up, intent upon ripping it in two. But he couldn't do it. He sank to the floor, surrounded by the mess – his pain- with the picture clutched to his chest.

He felt tired. More tired than he'd ever felt before. Praying to any God listening that he would dream nothing, he fell into a deep sleep. His prayer went unanswered and he dreamt of dancing with Remus until a strong wind blew the love from Remus heart, taking Remus with it as the leaves fell, laughing at Sirius' cries.

"_Yous 'ave got ta be kiddin'!" The station master guffawed around a foul smelling cigarette. "Nuffin' personal but yous look a bit too small ta be travelin' on yer own. We ain't gunna give yous no tickets from 'ere. Anyways, station's closin' now so ya'd beta be on yer way, Go on!" The man finished rudely before dropping the station door shutter in their bewildered faces._

_Nathan said some words Harry would never dare use as the station lights were turned off and the pair were plunged into darkness again. Nathan sank down onto a rickety bench he could barely make out. This wasn't part of his plan. It had all been going so well. After he had found the glasses and they had set off again, Harry's ankle had stopped hurting. It was just like magic. Nathan had been sure, so sure, that these were signs to prove everything would be okay. But now this. What were they suppose to do? Up until this moment a feeling had been surging him forward but now it was gone. _

_Suddenly Nathan felt so much older than his nine years. This just wasn't…fair. 'Life isn't fair,' a cold, sneering voice that sounded so much like his father it made him shiver. Life wasn't fair and Fate was a bitch in black leather._

"_I'm sorry Harry. I…I didn't really think this through," He said thickly, holding back tears. But it wasn't Harry who replied._

"_No you didn't, did you?" A voice that chilled both boys to the very soul sneered as a torch beam flickered into life, illuminating the purple face of Vernon Dursley. He looked _very_ happy to see them._

_As Harry was dragged away by his Uncle he waved forlornly at Nathan. Nathan stood helpless, what could he do? If he tried to fight him, the gargantuan man would knock him senseless. Harry didn't know it but that was the last time he would ever see Nathan Semple._


	5. Break Him

**Guys, the reason this is so excruciatingly short is because I wrote it as part of the last chapter but felt where I ended it was a better place to stop. I'd also like to thank everyone who has reviewed; **_Faramirlover, FireyHell, Lady Mythology (A special thanks for the tip on anonymous reviewers!), Knight Guardian, LaughableBlackStorm, Animegurl088, Berkum (some of the most detailed reviews ever!), BlackenedNightshade, HarryliketotallyROCKS, MagicalWinry, Fire Dolphin, Riker15, MoonyistheMan and jennadancer. _**Kudos to you all. So, this isn't technically a chapter, it just wasn't a very good end or beginning, it had to be both or neither. smiles at her own insane logic. Enjoy )**

Harry woke with a gasp, tears streaming down his cheeks. Sighing to himself he wiped them away and perched his glasses on his nose. Silence ensued and it frustrated him. Silence left him with his thoughts. He hated them. They only repeated what he already knew, over and over, '_you have to tell Sirius, you have to tell Sirius, you have to tell Sirius, you...'_

Groaning, he rose from the bed and tried to cross the room. After two failed attempts he decided slower would be better. Unsteadily and clinging to the wall for support, he made his way to the door, slipping out into the corridor noiselessly.

As he travelled further down the hall and in turn the stairs, a soft noise mercifully replaced the nothingness. Or at least, it was welcomed until Harry drew closer to its source and realised with horror that it was the sounds of someone crying.

Trying his best to hurry, which in his current state was about the pace of a normal walk, he followed the noise in the direction of the kitchen. After what felt like an age, he finally pushed the kitchen door open. His jaw dropped.

It looked as though a bomb had struck it; hard. The table was overturned, broken china was strewn everywhere. Shards of glass litter the floor just next to the door; they were the remainder of the fruit bowl. And sitting in the middle of it was Sirius. He appeared to be asleep yet, he was crying. Harry's heart felt like an iron had clamped around it.

"Sirius," He whispered, although it came out as more of a croak from lack of use. When he got no reply, Harry stepped gingerly into the mess. Afraid of touching the surfaces in case there was anything sharp on them, he wobbled his way over to Sirius and, after checking for glass or china, sank to his knees gratefully.

On inspection Sirius didn't seem physically hurt...so what was wrong? "Sirius?" He repeated, lightly touching Sirius' shoulder.

"Remus, that you?" Sirius asked, his speech slurred from sleep.

"No, it's me Harry," Harry withdrew his hand, awkward from Sirius' assumption. He mentally scolded himself for being so uncomfortable, but this was going to take some getting use to.

Sirius finally opened his eyes and looked up into the face of his Godson. "Harry!" He exclaimed in, what he hoped, was a tone of pleasant surprise. "You shouldn't be out of bed. Molly will have my guts for garters," He babbled, trying to wipe his face inconspicuously.

"Sirius, what's the matter? What happened?" He gestured vaguely at the room.

"Would you like something to eat? Stupid question! But, hey, that's me, stupid old Sirius!" He continued, bustling around, trying to make himself busy.

"Sirius, what's wrong?" Harry asked getting increasingly worried.

"Absolutely nothing, everything's great! Even better now you're up!"

"How did this happen?" Harry asked again, following Sirius' frantic movement with terrified eyes.

"Oh, I just had a little accident is all, I'm such a klutz!" He laughed, but it was too fast, too shrill. "I'll just get this all cleaned up and then everything will be neat again, everything will be perfect again," He burbled, dropping onto his knees by the pile of glass and beginning to pick up the pieces. He wasn't paying attention and the glass was cutting into his hands, but Sirius neither noticed nor cared.

Harry however did and scrambled as fast as he could to Sirius' side again.

"Sirius stop! You're hurting yourself!" Harry cried, but Sirius was too far gone to listen to him. His grabbing of the glass was becoming more and more rushed, as was his speech. "SIRIUS!" Harry yelled as best he could, grasping Sirius' wrists as tight as he could manage.

Sirius dropped the pieces in surprise, staring at Harry, blinded by his unshed tears.

"But Harry, you don't understand! If I can fix everything, he'll come back! He left because I am too messy, I need to be perfect. Everything has to be perfect or he won't love me." He gasped slightly as he said it, _Remus didn't want him; didn't love him_.

Harry finally understood. Remus had left Sirius. And he knew exactly why it really was. It was because of him.

"Sirius, I'm so sorry," He said. He watched as Sirius' face slowly crumpled. Harry let go of his wrists and Sirius fell against his chest, sobbing as though he would never stop. Harry hugged him as best he could. After time had past and Sirius appeared to have calmed down, Harry gently guided him to the living room.

Ignoring his own weakness, he cleaned and bandaged the cuts on Sirius' hands to the extent of his ability. Sirius didn't speak the entire time, tears rolling silently down his face. Eventually Harry left once he'd cried himself back to sleep and sorted himself out with something to eat and drink.

Once some of his strength had returned, he changed and then flooed out to go and have a..._chat_ with Remus Lupin.


	6. Go To Him

**Once again, this is a shameful length but I promise I'm not getting into a habit! marauder's honour but still, I was wondering which you guys prefer, two short chappies in two days, or a long one in like a week? Just add in your opinion in your review...luv luv squees ps. Thanks to everyone who reviews or just reads I know how often I feel I should review but can't be bothered so I appreciate both )**

When Harry tumbled out into Remus' front room, he noticed three things. His first observation was that flooing in his current state really hadn't been the best idea he'd ever had. The second was that he was incredibly lucky Remus had a thickly carpeted floor. And the third was that it was the middle of the night.

In Grimmuald place the time of day was often difficult to tell as there were very few windows. This on top of the fact that he had been somewhat preoccupied for the time he'd been awake caused this to come as a surprise.

Gradually his eyes began to adjust to the darkness and he slowly pulled himself up. The room looked practically the same as it had done last time he'd visited. Except...what on earth was that on the floor? The dark stain looked suspiciously like blood...but Harry breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the distinct shape of a mug in the mark as well.

Slightly confused (Remus was normally the neatest person Harry knew), he continued to haul himself up, until he was standing again. Suddenly a very quiet noise reached Harry's ears and he froze. It sounded human. It was coming from the sofa. He crept closer and as he did so realised one of the 'cushions' was a very odd shape. Human shaped.

"Sirius?" It whispered, barely audible. Harry felt a vague sense of De Javu as he said,

"No, it's me, Harry."

"Harry? What on earth are you doing here?" Harry could hear a thickness to Remus' voice which told him the man had been doing the exact same as he'd watched Sirius do for the past hour.

"I need to talk to you." He said bluntly.

"One moment," Remus said and got up. At the door he flipped a switch and bright light flooded the room. Harry threw his hands up to shield his eyes and when he lowered them, Remus was gone.

He reappeared seconds later with two fresh cups and a strange look on his face. Harry knew he had taken those moments to compose himself, but it hadn't really worked. He handed one to Harry who set it down immediately.

"So how are you feeling?" Remus asked, but he had no energy to inject any meaning into the enquiry.

"Who cares. Why have you left Sirius?" He asked, not willing to let the problem dander around the edges of the conversation.

"Harry, I-well, you see-Look, I don't really feel comfortable disc-" Remus stuttered but Harry cut in on top of him,

"Bull! I know exactly why. It's because of me isn't it?" Harry said, failing to keep the bitterness from his voice.

"No!" Remus exclaimed. "Harry it isn't your fault!"

"Then what is it?" He practically snarled. Remus meet his angry gaze for a moment, then looked away.

"One day, Sirius will be free. When that day comes, he will walk out that front door and be part of the real world. When that day comes, he will realise how pathetic and disgusting a am. When that day comes, he will throw me aside like none of this ever mattered-like I never meant anything to him. I can't deal with that. I'm just not strong enough for that." Remus spilt the terrifying thoughts before he quite realised what he was saying.

They sat in silence, stunned in Harry's instance, extremely embarrassed in Remus'. Finally Harry voiced his opinion.

"I thought you were clever," He said quietly.

"What?" Remus asked, entirely confused.

"I thought you were clever," Harry repeated, louder this time. "But, that has got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Sirius lo- He loves you!" Harry forced out. "He is sitting at home right now, in pieces because he thinks you don't love him anymore. How selfish can you be? He would never leave you!" Harry finished, breathing very heavily. Remus stared at him, hardly daring to believe him. "Now," Harry said. "I have to go back and make sure he hasn't woken up and done something stupid, are you coming with me?"

Remus simply nodded.


	7. Hold Him

**Thank you everyone who has stuck with this story so far, I hope you're all happy with how it's going. Once again, cheers to everybody who has reviewed the last chapter and kudos to all those who have me on alert...all 47 OF YOU! is flabbergasted Wow...simply wow.**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to Josh Groban, Lonestar, Rascal Flatts, Plain White T's and The Fray for all their help with writing this chapter, I could not have done it without 'Let Me Fall' and 'You Raise Me Up', 'Amazed', 'Stand', 'All We Needed, and 'How to Save A Life' (Songs are in order of artists, first two are by Josh Groban, etc.). Listen to some of these tracks if you've got the time while you're reading...It'll blow you away; Particularly Amazed.**

**On a sadish note, the story is indeed drawing to a close...but I couldn't resist one more cliffhanger! Also I think you're all gunna like the end...from the info I've got from you fabby readers you seem to like a good old english surprise...you won't be disappointed ;D**

**On a happier note, the chapters are coming back to their usual length for the next two. Seeing as they will be the final pair, I thought I owed you all that much! **

**On with the show...**

Remus felt remorse the minute he set foot back in Grimmauld Place. The first thing his eyes rested upon, in the dim light emanating from a table lamp, was Sirius. Sirius, who was normally so lively and seemed to fill a room with his very presence, was sitting on the sofa as though he could disappear and no one would be any the wiser. He had woken in Harry's absence, but didn't seem to be aware of Harry's disappearance, yet. He was staring aimlessly at the floor directly in front of him, his gaze not even flickering as the fireplace was used.

Remus caught Harry as he fell out of the fireplace and, once the boy was righted on his feet (regardless of how much he looked like he was about to drop) he gestured for the older man to approach Sirius. Turning his attention back, although _technically_ it had never left him, to Sirius he, ever so gently, approached him. Not quite knowing what to do with himself, he knelt down so he was in Sirius' eye line. Sirius finally saw him, and Remus watched as the other man's eyes filled with a sadness he could only describe as what he had been feeling for the past day. He tried to speak, to say something that would make Sirius forgive him. But, nothing was able to make its way past the block in his throat.

"Remus...but you left me." Sirius whispered, shaking his head from side to side ever so slightly.

"I know," Remus choked out. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"But...I'm not good enough," Sirius said and the tone in his voice, made Remus feel like he would cry.

"Sirius you aren't good enough...you're so much more than that. I love you so much, but it isn't enough. You deserve better, you deserve so much more." Remus took Sirius' hands in his own and threaded their fingers, matching their souls.

"I will never leave you. I love you," Sirius was barely audible, but Remus heard him and that was all that mattered.

Because then, after what felt like eons to both of them, he had Sirius in his arms again, and the familiar warm, gentle pressure of Sirius' face was against his neck and he could smell Sirius' shampoo, and then Remus really did cry. They remained just so for what could have been countless hours or precious seconds, time stopped for them.

Eventually Sirius broke away and looked him in the eye again. Ever so carefully he kissed both of Remus' cheeks and used his fingertips to wipe away his tears and Remus held Sirius' hand against his cheek, feeling the warmth, making sure this was real; that Sirius still need him, loved him.

"Hmm," He sighed against Sirius' touch and Sirius laughed softly and Remus was quite sure he had never heard anything as beautiful.

Sirius removed his hand and raised Remus to his feet.

"Tea?" He suggested knowingly and Remus smiled. Suddenly he realised something and looked round.

"Look," He whispered. Sirius turned in the direction he had pointed and grinned sheepishly at what he saw.

Curled up on the other sofa was Harry, fast asleep with a very clear grin on his face. Carefully, Sirius eased him into a more comfortable position and draped an old patchwork throw over him.

Quietly the pair left the room, closing the door behind them leaving Harry alone with his dreams.

_"Petunia, I've got the little rat." Vernon Dursley snarled, physically throwing Harry into the hallway, where he tripped and got a carpet burn on his chin. "He thought that little friend of his could save him."_

_  
"What the hell did you think you were playing at?" Petunia Dursley hissed, spitting into the face of her petrified nephew, who for a moment almost believed she had been worried about his whereabouts. "If you run away, do you know what could happen to me and Vernon? After everything we've done for you, you are willing to get us thrown in prison, you selfish little brat." She sniffed as though he were a bad smell beneath her noise. "Well? Explain yourself!"_

_Harry tried to hold back the tears, it was all too much for him. He didn't reply fast enough. A hand struck him across the face. For the first time, it was not the beefy paw of his Uncle or his overweight cousin; it was the long thin hand that would have been kind if they had belonged to anybody else. The hand of his Aunt. Some resolve not to answer back, to keep quiet and do as he was told, silently snapped within Harry and before a red mark had even grown on his face he was yelling, something he had never done to anyone before._

_"I was leaving because I can't take this anymore! I hate you, you hate me! I am tired of being sore all the time, of being afraid all the time! Nathan was taking me away from you because he loves me!" Harry screamed, clamping a hand over his mouth, wishing the words would go back in. But, it was too late._

_"Vernon," Petunia Dursley whimpered and rushed from the room, looking like she was about to be sick._

_"So you're a disgusting little faggot too, are you? Under my own roof! Your kind should be drowned, shot, anything." Vernon's voice was mounting from a low rumble to a full roar. "Clearly we haven't been teaching you your lessons properly. I can change that." Harry knew what was coming next before the first blow landed._

_Vernon beat Harry harder than ever before, screaming insults at him for hours, punching and kicking the little child until there wasn't a single area of his skin not damaged in some way. At one point Harry began to vomit and he only had time to realise that it was a horrible shade of red before he passed out. The pummelling didn't stop when his conscious did._

Harry woke with a start, his neck cracking as he sat up. Wondering into the kitchen, feeling slightly dizzy, he found Remus and Sirius sitting at the table talking in hushed tones. They looked up in unison and bright smiles lit both their faces. Harry didn't mean to, but he couldn't help staring when he saw their joined hands resting on the table top. Remus followed his gaze and quickly took his hand away, but Harry shook his head definitely.  
"No, I don't mind. It's your decision and I...respect that." He said and if anything Sirius' smile got brighter still. He tried to cast his mind around for something else and briefly found himself wondering about the time.

"Breakfast?" He asked cheerily and Harry nodded enthusiastic at both the offered meal and a change of topic. Harry sat comfortably silent while the other two talked happily.

As Sirius set the plates in front of them and sat down, Harry smiled, but his thoughts were some where else, a different time.

Sirius and Remus ate heartily, it had been a while since the last time either had done so properly. Harry, however, touched very little, picking at his food with no conviction. It wasn't that he wasn't hungry, but preoccupied.

Sirius noticed, but thought it best to say nothing, they needed to take this one step at a time. Setting his cutlery down, he reached across and patted Harry's arm. Harry jumped with surprise and Sirius had to wonder where he had been for all the time his body had been sitting in the chair.

After a silence that felt too...heavy to support itself Harry spoke,

"Sirius, Remus, I need to talk to you...both of you. It's about...Nathan." He said refusing to meet their looks of surprise. "I need to explain...everything."


	8. Absolve Him

**Well my fabulous amazing spectacular outstanding wonderful people, this is the last chapter!! Tragedy! When the feelings gone and you can't go on...#shuts mouth# sorry, I was a Steps fan when I was like eight. Anyway I would just like to point out that no view expressed by Vernon 'the ass' Dursley is mine, 'kay? My brother is Transsexual for pity's sake – Homosexuality is kid's stuff! (Just a joke, please don't take offence, I totally respect sexuality of any nature) and do not forget to read the Epilogue I swear you will like it!! Honest! #brownie's honour# And thank you so much for sticking with me this far you are all amazing )**

**Ps. I would really appreciate if you could just take thirty seconds to tell me how you thought the series went and just anything in general! If you don't do it at the end of this chapter please do it at the end of Epilogue I just am so desperate for people to have liked me...it...whatever #Glomps for all#**

And so he told them. Everything. He spoke of the abuse he had received, how he and Nathan had looked after one another, how Nathan had been his real family, his brother.

He also told them about something he had never remembered before; meeting his parents.

"I don't know where it came from ... I didn't remember it until I ... well," Harry blushed. " _freaked out_. She was so beautiful. My mum, you know? _**My**_ mum. And dad ... he was exactly like me. I can remember how perfect it felt being with them. I just knew they loved me so much. But, they sent me back and if they hadn't... I would never have meet either of you." He tried to smile, but it was weak.

Sirius had tears in his eyes.

"To think, for you to remember that...how close to dea- how near we were to losing you." Remus said, slightly breathless at the thought. Sirius nodded and Harry couldn't look at either of them for fear he may cry. Taking a deep breath he continued to tell them the story.

He explained their escape; his glasses. He relived the moments of fear after he realised what he had said that had disgusted them so much, and the pain of his Uncle's beating. He told them how, no matter how great the pain got he didn't scream, didn't utter a sound.

"I didn't mean it the way they thought I did. They thought I meant he loved me the way you love each other. I didn't. He was my brother, the first family I remembered at the time.

"After that they kept me locked in my cupboard, I'm not sure how long for. I just remember lying there in the darkness...numb." He coughed and looked up at the ceiling. "I think that maybe, I thought that if I lay still enough I could just disappear..."

_It had been two days, not that Harry knew, when finally his Uncle opened the cupboard and pulled him out into the hall. The light hurt his eyes and he went to shield them, but his Uncle grabbed his wrists and pulled him into the front room._

_Sitting in a chair across the room was Nathan's mother, looking dazed and as out of it as ever. _

_"Sit," Vernon hissed in Harry's ear, too quite for her to hear, and Harry dropped onto the carpet as fast as possible._

_"I'm so sorry about this," Vernon cooed to the woman across the room, although she barely seemed to notice he was addressing her. "But, my wife and I care greatly for Harry's safety and we feel your son's behaviour issues are putting him in great danger."_

_The temperature in the room seemed to drop below zero. What on earth was he playing at?_

_Mrs Semple still didn't appear to be paying Vernon any attention and Harry watched as the fat purple vein at his Uncle's temple throbbed; never a good sign._

_"Mrs Semple," He said, louder than he had spoken before and she finally acknowledged him, jumping with surprise at the fact that there were people in the room._

_"Hmmm?" She said in a very soft, melodic, voice. Something wasn't quite right about her eyes, they were too wide. _

_"Mrs Semple, Cathy, wasn't it? On Sunday night your son came and broke into our house. He stole Harry, from his bed and took him away from us. I was lucky enough to hear Harry struggling and I knew immediately where he was heading. Luckily enough, I reached the train station just in time. When I brought Harry home, he was bruised all over. Look at him! I can only assume Nathan did this to him!" Harry whimpered with shock as Mrs Semple's eyes roved over him, growing, if it were possible, wider still._

_"See the boy is traumatised by the very memory of what your child did to him!" Vernon exclaimed, and had Harry know no better, he would have been sure Vernon was feeling true concern. Instead he felt he might vomit. Vernon pulled Harry to his feet and clutched the boy to his chest with one arm, as though he were something precious. With the other hand he was subtly pushing down on the pressure point at the side of Harry's neck._

_"Oh my..." Mrs Semple said._

_"He must not be allowed to be near my nephew again, you do understand? His parents, God rest their souls, entrusted me and Petunia with taking care of him and we intend to honour their request. You see?" Cathy Semple nodded and got to her feet, wobbling like a new born foal. _

_"I'm sorry, there was something else. Something even more worrying. You might want to sit down again," Vernon advised in a sickly voice he had no right to use. "I understand you are a woman of faith," He gestured to the small gold cross which hung around her neck. She nodded again, her full attention being given to Vernon now. "So I feel you must know. You son has been committing one of the worst sins possible. Homosexuality." She gasped, a hand slapped across her mouth in utter shock. Harry hung his head, that was precisely what his Uncle had wanted._

_"I am so sorry. My nephew confided to me last night, just what your son had been forcing him to do. At such a young age as well! I accept if your son is more mature, but Harry is, or rather, was very innocent. My condolences to you madam, but I believe there is still help for him." Harry dared look up at his Uncle and saw a spark in his eyes; this was it._

_"There is a programme, in Liverpool, designed especially for children whose hearts are being blackened by sin. The S.M.I.L.E foundation. The next course starts tomorrow. I really think you should consider it." Vernon pulled out a brochure from his back pocket and handed it to her. Cathy took it and left without saying goodbye or looking back, her eyes seemed slightly glazed._

_The moment the front door snapped shut, Vernon hurled Harry away from him, looking at him as if he were a particularly unpleasant thing he had discovered under a plant pot._

_"Get back to your cupboard now." Vernon yelled and Harry darted from the room, terror washing through his soul and tears filling his eyes. _

_The next morning his aunt brought him a glass of water and a stale sandwich. She refused to look at him or say a word. Unlike the last time he had been in his cupboard, Harry was restless. He tossed and turned when he lay down, kicking his feet in the air; doing anything that could take his mind of what might have happened since he had been locked back in here._

_The morning after that, he was pulled from his sleep once again by his Uncle. Yet, something felt different within him. He felt like he was no longer afraid – like there was nothing more his uncle could do to hurt him. How wrong he was..._

_"Here," His Uncle snarled, shoving a newspaper under his nose with a malicious grin._

**Major Pile Up On M7**

**Around 15 people died last night on the motorway to Liverpool, due to the careless drink driving of one man. The man in question Mr. Alan Semple, age 43, span out of control and bounced off the centre boundary. A BP truck then hit the side of the ford fiat and rolled down the embankment where it burst into flames; killing the driver and co-driver immediately. The carnage remaining on the road caused serious additional pile-up. No one in the car that started it is thought to have survived but...**

_Harry didn't read anymore. Bile rose in his throat. Nathan was...no, he couldn't just...no. He shook his violently and Vernon Dursley laughed at his pain._

_"No," Harry whispered his voice cracking with emotion he couldn't convey with words._

_"And you know where he is don't you? Where all you silly little faggots go; Hell!" His vision swam and the last thing he saw before he blacked out was his Uncle's face; his Uncle's hateful laughter._

"I...After that, I just tried to f- I tried to forget him. I couldn't live with remembering him." Harry finally finished and looked Sirius in the eyes, pleading with them to understand why he had said and done all he had.

Sirius was out of his chair and at Harry's side in seconds; sweeping the boy into a hug they both needed desperately to confirm everything was going to be okay from now on. Remus already knew they would be – they had each other.


	9. Suprise Him

"Come on, Harry! Get your butt down here!" Sirius yelled up the stairs. A muffled cry of 'nearly ready' echoed down and minutes later it was followed by Harry looking better than he had all summer.

They ended up apparating to Kings Cross as it would have taken to long via normally transport. Sirius seemed more hyperactive than average, but Harry just assumed it was because it was his first journey out since Peter Pettigrew had been caught and Sirius' innocence had been proven. Harry raced ahead in case it really was too late, but stopped abruptly when he entered the station and caught sight of the clock. It was barely nine.

He turned to Sirius and Remus who were both looking like butter couldn't melt in their mouths, what would have been some choice words perched upon his lips, when Sirius began talking, very quickly.

"Now I know what your thinking, don't think that. We didn't mean you'd be late for the train, you see. We have someone we think you'll want to meet." He was practically bouncing up and down with clear excitement. He reminded Harry of a small puppy, which was more ironic than life, and Harry snorted with laughter despite himself.

"Well, what are we on time for then?" Harry asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"This way," Remus said mysteriously, beckoning for Harry to follow him and trying to control his own excitement.

They traipsed to the other entrance of King's Cross and stopped for a few minutes while Remus shrunk Harry's luggage to fit into his pocket, leaving Hedwig for Sirius to carry.

They finally stopped beneath the central clock and Sirius whispered something to Remus, who nodded enthusiastically and rushed off. Harry could tell by the stilted feel to the conversation that Sirius was trying to occupy him. He was failing miserably, but Harry decided to humour him all the same.

"Sirius, look, what's going on?" Harry asked, impatience ringing through in his tone.

"Hmm?" Sirius tried to sound innocent. " Why on earth would you think anything's going on?" Harry made a growling noise in throat and Sirius held his hands up in defence. "Okay, we have something you will want to see. But it isn't ready, not yet. Now, I just want you to remember if you need to talk to me, McGonagall will let you firecall me through her office, I asked specially. And make sure you keep us updated on everything, okay?"

Harry smiled and nodded. Sirius grinned and pulled his Godson into a tight hug. "We're gunna miss having you round the house kiddo, it'll be so quiet. Be careful with the dreamless sleep Snape made for you, only take it when the nightmares get too bad."

Harry nodded again. It was true that since he had explained to them about Nathan a flood gate had opened and horrors he had been repressing for so long, things he remembered nothing of, were plaguing his dreams constantly. Every

night, whenever he woke up, Sirius had instructed him to come and wake them so they could all talk it through some. It had helped, but now Sirius and Remus weren't going to be there to talk, and he just knew he wasn't going to be able to confide in Ron and Hermione quite like he had with them. It would just be too difficult to explain the whole situation to Ron and Hermione. They knew nothing as it was thanks to Remus and Sirius' cover up and Harry wanted it to stay like that.

"I just...I never refused to think about him before. And know, I can't stop. I miss him so much." Harry whispered into Sirius shoulder, embarrassed by his own honesty.

"I know." Sirius said pulling back and looking Harry square in the eye. "Remus is taking longer than I thought, wanna get a coffee or something?"

They wandered across to the Costa and ordered some drinks, simply because they had ridiculous names. Once the waitress had left Harry sighed and slumped back in his chair. "Too early." He muttered, trying to smile, but Sirius knew his thoughts were in a much darker place.

"If you could have him back for just one day what would you say?" Sirius asked attempting casual. Harry's eyes widened in surprise.

"You what? Sirius, no spell can bring the dead back to life."

"I know, it was just a, _waddiyamacallit_, rhetorical question."

"Oh. I would...I would tell him how sorry I was. I would tell him, that he was the first person I could remember to show me true kindest. I would let him know how much he meant to me. I would let him know that he is my brother, I would let him know how much I loved him." Harry said hoarsely, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses.

"I love you too, brother." A quiet voice Harry remembered from a time far away said.

Almost in a dream like state he rose from his seat and turned. Standing no more than five feet away was Remus Lupin, a smile that could have challenged the moon in brightness on his face. And next to him was a boy. A tall boy with fluffy hair, like an owl's feathers. He had serious brown eyes. Unmistakeable, unforgettable eyes.

"Nathan," Harry whispered, not daring to believe his eyes. The boy nodded gently and without thinking about it Harry's legs were moving. He was running. For a brief second he wondered how ridiculous and cheesy it must have looked to anyone watching, but just as quickly he knew he didn't care. He stopped just short of Nathan's face and reached out a hand. Ever so gently he touched Nathan's cheek, just to check he was real – that this was real. Nathan smiled and Harry felt his skin moving beneath his fingers. He didn't need anymore proof. He threw his arms around the taller boy's neck. He feels home.

He finally let go and Nathan looked down at him, grinning regardless of the tears in his eyes.

"Six years later and you're still short?" Nathan asked and Harry laughed and it feels good to laugh, he hasn't had a totally forceless laugh in a long time.

"But how?" Harry asked the obvious as they cross over to the table, where an immensely annoyed waitress stood with their drinks.

"I was never in the car," Nathan explained immediately. "They were going to talk my Uncle into taking me off their hands instead when it happened. They left me locked up at home. After a few days I realised they weren't coming back and I left too. A woman found me in Byrd Park and she took me to a children's home. I tried to find you, I really tried, but I wasn't able to go anywhere alone until I was eleven and when I finally got to the Dursley's your Aunt said you were gone. I assumed she meant you were..." He didn't finish his sentence, instead busying himself with the little packets of sugar.

"How did you...?" Harry asked Remus and Sirius, who were both beaming with delight at the huge smile on Harry's face.

"Haven't you learnt yet, Harry? I'm Sirius Black – I can do anything!" Sirius said in a serious voice and Remus snorted into his drink.

Harry and Nathan talked for what felt like just seconds, although Harry was very careful to omit any details about magic, before Sirius sighed loudly and Remus leant across to tap Harry's arm.

"Harry, it's quarter to eleven."

"What? No, we just- I-Where's Nathan going to go?" Harry was horror struck.

"Well you see, the thing about that is..." Remus trailed off, shaking his head regretfully.

"Will I be able to see him soon?" Harry asked, his eyes sparkling.

"I should hope so, you see...He's going with you." Sirius said finally looking up from his careful inspection of his shoelaces to watch Harry and Nathan's jaws drop open.

**The End.**

**I smell a sequel in the making...**

Seriously though guys, I just want to thank you all sooooooo much for following the story this far and if there is enough interest there is a sequel plot bunny (of doom!) So please review and tell me if your up for that! Thank you soooooooooooooooooo much!!!!


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